Top 10 things I've learned during my first month of unemployment

10. Applying to listed job openings is not a realistic way to get one.
9. If you are my friend on Facebook, I am monitoring your status updates in real-time and living vicariously through you. Unless, of course, you are cooking, cleaning, or doing laundry because that is already my life.
8. Dogs sleep all day and all night, waking up only to eat and play. Somehow it's totally acceptable that they are unemployed.
7. The only people at Whole Foods at 2:30pm are the elderly and stay at home moms toting children, all of which have compromised immune systems and have contracted swine flu. Avoid the sample trays like the plague.
6. Government holidays are no longer fun because postmen celebrate by not delivering the mail. Oh how I look forward to the noon delivery!
5. Chris is no longer self sufficient with meal planning or preparation making me the most highly valued member of the household, aka THE BOSS. Sweet.
4. Wedding presents make you feel good. Whether given out of love, obligation, or a little bit of both, all intentions do the trick equally as well. And they just keep coming!
3. Telling people you are unemployed is a buzz kill. Instead, it is better to tell them you are a drug dealer because it's much more interesting and you're likely to get invited to parties.
2. There is a direct correlation between the total batches of cookies one eats and the number of pounds one can expect to gain.
1. After losing a job you will go through the five stages of loss - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It's also a good idea to add a sixth stage - enjoyment. Turn unemployment into (f)unemployment.

Real Housewives of Boulder Colorado

One week ago today we returned home to Boulder from our wedding and honeymoon extravaganza. On Monday morning, my first day back in the office I got laid off. Needless to say, the real world is a cold and harsh one.

Sooooo, what's a newlywed with a lot of time on her hands and several new kitchen appliances to do? Learn how to be a good housewife of course. This picture is from my wedding shower. Talk about a sign of things to come. Come to think of it, I hope I didn't tempt fate by posing for this picture while wearing an apron holding an oven mitt and wooden spoons.

This morning I got up early and hiked the dogs, made breakfast for my shiny new husband, packed his lunch, and sent him off to work to bring home the veggie bacon. I know, it sounds like a morning straight out of 1960. Think Mad Men, Colorado style. So now the job search begins. I'm updating my resume and back on the market with the rest of the unemployed. Perhaps bringing fresh baked cookies to interviews will help? Here's to the next stage in life - newlywed, unemployed, lots of baked goods. Bloody Mary anyone?

Oregonian Article

I've copied and pasted it below:

Dancing the rain away
By Larry Bingham, The Oregonian
September 22, 2009, 4:10PM


On the Saturday of Maria and Greg Dempsey's oldest daughter's wedding -- planned months in advance for the family's Damascus backyard -- the mother and father of the bride awoke to rain. Lots of rain. Drumming rain. The kind of rain that floods gutters.

The ceremony wasn't scheduled until 4 p.m., but the forecast didn't look good.

A wedding in the big yard in the country was daughter Molly's idea. She has fond memories of growing up in the log cabin and playing outdoors -- her dad towing her and her sister on a sled during winter snows, her friends camping out, decorating high school parade floats, romping in a cousin's fort and picking pumpkins from their very own patch.

After Molly, 28 now, moved to Boulder, Colo., for college, and met Chris Lane, 32, and after the relationship grew serious, the couple decided to get married where she grew up. Chris, an attorney in Boulder where they live, had been blown away by its beauty when he visited. Molly, who works in marketing for an eco-friendly purse maker, was proud to show off her home state to 130 guests, 80 percent of whom would be seeing Oregon for the first time.

So plans were made for the Labor Day weekend and invitations sent -- with an Internet RSVP so they'd use less paper. Greg planted wildflower seed and sunflowers as a backdrop for the ceremony and spruced up an already idyllic yard. Molly's aunt made gift jars of jam for guests -- in three-ounce jars so airplane travelers could carry them on -- using blackberries harvested from the yard.

The Dempseys even factored rain into the plan -- this is Oregon, after all. Maria bought umbrellas for the wedding party and rented tents so everyone could dine outdoors on the sports court. She set up smaller tents over the bar and dessert trays on the deck.

But the morning of the wedding, the tents sagged with rain.

By 2 p.m., the sky started to clear. Whether the rain would return was anybody's guess.

At 3:45, a decision had to be made. The couple's dogs were set to play their part as flower girls. The attendants were dressed and ready. Molly and Chris were eager to exchange vows, indoors or out.

Let's do it outside, they decided.

Greg got out the leaf blower and dried the grass. The rented chairs stayed folded because the clouds couldn't be trusted as guests gathered in the flower garden. The mandolin and guitar players began Molly's favorite tune -- "Here Comes the Sun" -- as she walked down the aisle over sprinkled rose petals.

No raindrops fell during the cocktail hour afterward. None pelted the tents during the catered salmon dinner or when the petit fours that served as wedding cake were savored.

The dancing began after dinner. And then as soon as it got dark, around 8:30 p.m., the rain returned. It didn't just sprinkle, either. It poured. Deafening rain. The kind that ends most parties.

Except an unusual thing happened. The disc jockey said he'd never seen anything like it.

One dancer stepped into the rain, then another. Pretty soon, nearly everyone was dancing in the rain. Even the groom in his suit, even the bride in her gown and pearls.

"I would have never thought of rain as the perfect ending to the celebration, but it made it sort of magical," said the mother of the bride. "I will never look at rain in the same way again."
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At that, my friends, is our 15 minutes of fame.

Back to reality

After the wedding of our dreams and an equally as fabulous honeymoon, we are back to reality and back home in Boulder. Thank you so much to everyone who helped make our wedding so incredible. Chris and I truly had the time of our lives. In fact, the Oregon newspaper, the Oregonian, had a nice little writeup about our event that I'll post as soon as we get the link. We'll send out some hard copies too. In the meantime, here are a few pictures of the wedding posted on the Oregonian website http://photos.oregonlive.com/oregonian/2009/09/backyard_wedding_6.html.

We are so very fortunate to have such amazing friends and family. Thank you all so very much!

The Greatest Minds in the Business

As I sit here under the dryer at the salon waiting for my fresh blonde highlights to set in I can't help but worry about the fact that RAIN IS IN THE FORECAST FOR MY WEDDDING DAY. Pops already said he had my poncho ready which does not help (unless of course it is fitted and girl cut with sufficient amounts of bling). Anyway, since I went all Facebook on the issue I have been getting calls and texts trying to talk me down from impending panic and hysteria. And then someone reminded me that it just so happens that I have the the best minds in the business all dedicated to my wedding day. And by "the business" I mean if life gives you lemons and what you ordered was a lemon drop, these women will make it happen.

Packing Day

Chris is in the kitchen whipping up some hot cakes as we speak to refuel us from last night's wedding extravaganza and start us off on the right foot for a day of packing. We leave Friday after work for our road trip out to Portland! We'll be headed straight for Ogden Utah where we will spend a sleepless night at the Super 8. You see, Addie will not sleep a wink and will instead spend the evening growling, barking, and sharking around the hotel room keeping the rest of us awake. Addie thinks she is high society, and does not like budget hotels, nor does she like homeless people, big government or taxes. She is a republican and is not keen on Obama's health plan either because as she experienced during the grape incident, her current plan is just fine, thank you. Little does she know. So, we'll wake up Saturday morning and hike with the home skillets until they're tired enough to sleep the rest of the way to Portland.

With only 13 days until our wedding (omg, can you even believe it?) we are keeping a close eye on the weather forecast. We're watching the 10 day forecast and crossing our fingers for no rain! As of September 1st, we're still looking good . . . .

Very Superstitious

I think everyone is a tad superstitious, whether they call it that or not. There are a lot of superstitions relating to weddings. The most obvious one is that it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride on the wedding day. I found a website with lots of funny superstitions. One says a veil is worn to protect the bride from evil spirits. Seriously? If I were an evil spirit, I would avoid weddings. Too much happiness and good times. I would be hanging around funerals and Chicago Cubs playoff games. Another superstition says it is considered good luck for the bride to encounter a chimney sweep, black cat, lamb or dove on her wedding day. But what if said cat happens to cross her path afterwards? Does that negate the good luck? What if Whiskey kills the cat? She has been known to get into it with the cats across the way...and a chimney sweep? That trade is so old I don't think you can even find a definition on the internet.

The Irish consider it unlucky to put on your own wedding veil on the big day. If you want the luck of the Irish, have a happily married woman do the honors for you. Everyone wants the luck of the Irish…so maybe Molly should follow that advice. While I am on the subject of superstitions, what about traditions? There are a lot of them...how about the old money dance? How blatant is that? The bride and groom dance around and people give them money...forget the cards and wrapping paper...just throw money at them! Actually, that tradition beats drinking out of the family boot. I went to a wedding where the bride and groom had to drink out of some old nasty boot. I think that would make me boot! Finally, my favorite superstition of all is that rain on your wedding day means good luck in the marriage (I read somewhere the rain represents all the bride's ex-boyfriends crying). I think the people who had rainy wedding days made that up. But you bet I will remember this one if it rains on our wedding day. (that knocking sound is me knocking on my coffee table)