Top 10 things I've learned during my first month of unemployment

10. Applying to listed job openings is not a realistic way to get one.
9. If you are my friend on Facebook, I am monitoring your status updates in real-time and living vicariously through you. Unless, of course, you are cooking, cleaning, or doing laundry because that is already my life.
8. Dogs sleep all day and all night, waking up only to eat and play. Somehow it's totally acceptable that they are unemployed.
7. The only people at Whole Foods at 2:30pm are the elderly and stay at home moms toting children, all of which have compromised immune systems and have contracted swine flu. Avoid the sample trays like the plague.
6. Government holidays are no longer fun because postmen celebrate by not delivering the mail. Oh how I look forward to the noon delivery!
5. Chris is no longer self sufficient with meal planning or preparation making me the most highly valued member of the household, aka THE BOSS. Sweet.
4. Wedding presents make you feel good. Whether given out of love, obligation, or a little bit of both, all intentions do the trick equally as well. And they just keep coming!
3. Telling people you are unemployed is a buzz kill. Instead, it is better to tell them you are a drug dealer because it's much more interesting and you're likely to get invited to parties.
2. There is a direct correlation between the total batches of cookies one eats and the number of pounds one can expect to gain.
1. After losing a job you will go through the five stages of loss - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It's also a good idea to add a sixth stage - enjoyment. Turn unemployment into (f)unemployment.

Real Housewives of Boulder Colorado

One week ago today we returned home to Boulder from our wedding and honeymoon extravaganza. On Monday morning, my first day back in the office I got laid off. Needless to say, the real world is a cold and harsh one.

Sooooo, what's a newlywed with a lot of time on her hands and several new kitchen appliances to do? Learn how to be a good housewife of course. This picture is from my wedding shower. Talk about a sign of things to come. Come to think of it, I hope I didn't tempt fate by posing for this picture while wearing an apron holding an oven mitt and wooden spoons.

This morning I got up early and hiked the dogs, made breakfast for my shiny new husband, packed his lunch, and sent him off to work to bring home the veggie bacon. I know, it sounds like a morning straight out of 1960. Think Mad Men, Colorado style. So now the job search begins. I'm updating my resume and back on the market with the rest of the unemployed. Perhaps bringing fresh baked cookies to interviews will help? Here's to the next stage in life - newlywed, unemployed, lots of baked goods. Bloody Mary anyone?

Oregonian Article

I've copied and pasted it below:

Dancing the rain away
By Larry Bingham, The Oregonian
September 22, 2009, 4:10PM


On the Saturday of Maria and Greg Dempsey's oldest daughter's wedding -- planned months in advance for the family's Damascus backyard -- the mother and father of the bride awoke to rain. Lots of rain. Drumming rain. The kind of rain that floods gutters.

The ceremony wasn't scheduled until 4 p.m., but the forecast didn't look good.

A wedding in the big yard in the country was daughter Molly's idea. She has fond memories of growing up in the log cabin and playing outdoors -- her dad towing her and her sister on a sled during winter snows, her friends camping out, decorating high school parade floats, romping in a cousin's fort and picking pumpkins from their very own patch.

After Molly, 28 now, moved to Boulder, Colo., for college, and met Chris Lane, 32, and after the relationship grew serious, the couple decided to get married where she grew up. Chris, an attorney in Boulder where they live, had been blown away by its beauty when he visited. Molly, who works in marketing for an eco-friendly purse maker, was proud to show off her home state to 130 guests, 80 percent of whom would be seeing Oregon for the first time.

So plans were made for the Labor Day weekend and invitations sent -- with an Internet RSVP so they'd use less paper. Greg planted wildflower seed and sunflowers as a backdrop for the ceremony and spruced up an already idyllic yard. Molly's aunt made gift jars of jam for guests -- in three-ounce jars so airplane travelers could carry them on -- using blackberries harvested from the yard.

The Dempseys even factored rain into the plan -- this is Oregon, after all. Maria bought umbrellas for the wedding party and rented tents so everyone could dine outdoors on the sports court. She set up smaller tents over the bar and dessert trays on the deck.

But the morning of the wedding, the tents sagged with rain.

By 2 p.m., the sky started to clear. Whether the rain would return was anybody's guess.

At 3:45, a decision had to be made. The couple's dogs were set to play their part as flower girls. The attendants were dressed and ready. Molly and Chris were eager to exchange vows, indoors or out.

Let's do it outside, they decided.

Greg got out the leaf blower and dried the grass. The rented chairs stayed folded because the clouds couldn't be trusted as guests gathered in the flower garden. The mandolin and guitar players began Molly's favorite tune -- "Here Comes the Sun" -- as she walked down the aisle over sprinkled rose petals.

No raindrops fell during the cocktail hour afterward. None pelted the tents during the catered salmon dinner or when the petit fours that served as wedding cake were savored.

The dancing began after dinner. And then as soon as it got dark, around 8:30 p.m., the rain returned. It didn't just sprinkle, either. It poured. Deafening rain. The kind that ends most parties.

Except an unusual thing happened. The disc jockey said he'd never seen anything like it.

One dancer stepped into the rain, then another. Pretty soon, nearly everyone was dancing in the rain. Even the groom in his suit, even the bride in her gown and pearls.

"I would have never thought of rain as the perfect ending to the celebration, but it made it sort of magical," said the mother of the bride. "I will never look at rain in the same way again."
_____________________________

At that, my friends, is our 15 minutes of fame.

Back to reality

After the wedding of our dreams and an equally as fabulous honeymoon, we are back to reality and back home in Boulder. Thank you so much to everyone who helped make our wedding so incredible. Chris and I truly had the time of our lives. In fact, the Oregon newspaper, the Oregonian, had a nice little writeup about our event that I'll post as soon as we get the link. We'll send out some hard copies too. In the meantime, here are a few pictures of the wedding posted on the Oregonian website http://photos.oregonlive.com/oregonian/2009/09/backyard_wedding_6.html.

We are so very fortunate to have such amazing friends and family. Thank you all so very much!

The Greatest Minds in the Business

As I sit here under the dryer at the salon waiting for my fresh blonde highlights to set in I can't help but worry about the fact that RAIN IS IN THE FORECAST FOR MY WEDDDING DAY. Pops already said he had my poncho ready which does not help (unless of course it is fitted and girl cut with sufficient amounts of bling). Anyway, since I went all Facebook on the issue I have been getting calls and texts trying to talk me down from impending panic and hysteria. And then someone reminded me that it just so happens that I have the the best minds in the business all dedicated to my wedding day. And by "the business" I mean if life gives you lemons and what you ordered was a lemon drop, these women will make it happen.

Packing Day

Chris is in the kitchen whipping up some hot cakes as we speak to refuel us from last night's wedding extravaganza and start us off on the right foot for a day of packing. We leave Friday after work for our road trip out to Portland! We'll be headed straight for Ogden Utah where we will spend a sleepless night at the Super 8. You see, Addie will not sleep a wink and will instead spend the evening growling, barking, and sharking around the hotel room keeping the rest of us awake. Addie thinks she is high society, and does not like budget hotels, nor does she like homeless people, big government or taxes. She is a republican and is not keen on Obama's health plan either because as she experienced during the grape incident, her current plan is just fine, thank you. Little does she know. So, we'll wake up Saturday morning and hike with the home skillets until they're tired enough to sleep the rest of the way to Portland.

With only 13 days until our wedding (omg, can you even believe it?) we are keeping a close eye on the weather forecast. We're watching the 10 day forecast and crossing our fingers for no rain! As of September 1st, we're still looking good . . . .

Very Superstitious

I think everyone is a tad superstitious, whether they call it that or not. There are a lot of superstitions relating to weddings. The most obvious one is that it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride on the wedding day. I found a website with lots of funny superstitions. One says a veil is worn to protect the bride from evil spirits. Seriously? If I were an evil spirit, I would avoid weddings. Too much happiness and good times. I would be hanging around funerals and Chicago Cubs playoff games. Another superstition says it is considered good luck for the bride to encounter a chimney sweep, black cat, lamb or dove on her wedding day. But what if said cat happens to cross her path afterwards? Does that negate the good luck? What if Whiskey kills the cat? She has been known to get into it with the cats across the way...and a chimney sweep? That trade is so old I don't think you can even find a definition on the internet.

The Irish consider it unlucky to put on your own wedding veil on the big day. If you want the luck of the Irish, have a happily married woman do the honors for you. Everyone wants the luck of the Irish…so maybe Molly should follow that advice. While I am on the subject of superstitions, what about traditions? There are a lot of them...how about the old money dance? How blatant is that? The bride and groom dance around and people give them money...forget the cards and wrapping paper...just throw money at them! Actually, that tradition beats drinking out of the family boot. I went to a wedding where the bride and groom had to drink out of some old nasty boot. I think that would make me boot! Finally, my favorite superstition of all is that rain on your wedding day means good luck in the marriage (I read somewhere the rain represents all the bride's ex-boyfriends crying). I think the people who had rainy wedding days made that up. But you bet I will remember this one if it rains on our wedding day. (that knocking sound is me knocking on my coffee table)

1959

My neighbor Tim's parents Tim and Greta had their 60th anniversary this year. They were married in the summer of 1959, which was also the year that Mattel's Barbie Doll was lauched, Alaska and Hawaii became the 49th and 50th states in the US, and Bonanza first appeared on NBC.

Back in 1959, the average cost of a house was $12,400, average yearly wages were $5,010, and the cost of a gallon of gas was $0.25. I'm not sure what the average cost of a wedding was in 1959 but to my sheer pleasure and delight, I did get a copy of Tim and Greta's wedding bill from that year! I couldn't help but share. In all of my wedding planning, how could I have forgotten the hat check? Greta also got Tim New York Giants Season tickets as an engagement gift that he still has and bribes family members with today. Unfortunately, Chris did not get Red Sox season tickets as an engagement gift.

In other news, I have an esthetician appointment to get my eyebrows done the week of the wedding. They told me I need to grow my eyebrows out until then. GROW THEM OUT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Have they seen the pictures of the hamsters that lived on my forehead in my tweens? Did women do that in 1959?

Grapes and Whiskey

If you didn't know this already, Molly and I love our dogs. For a long time we had only one dog, Addie. She was essentially a perfect dog - other than maybe being a bit overprotective of her owners. This really only manifested itself when we went camping, and we were ok with her one flaw. About a year and a half ago, Whiskey joined the family. She is a sweet dog, but a bit more devilish than Addie. Actually, she kind of looks like a devil, although she is missing the pitchfork (if she had opposable thumbs, I bet she would carry one). She likes to chase stuff, get in dog fights (but only if the other dog starts it), and get into whatever we might leave around the house. Addie hasn't picked up on most of her habits, but she has decided that we are so busy paying attention to Whiskey that she can pretty much do what she wants...so she basically stopped listening to us. Now I know what you are saying, why don't you take them to dog class or get some training? I will tell you why - Addie acts like she has been taken to the vet for the systematic removal of all her nails and teeth when forced to be in a room with all those other 'animals' and Whiskey acts like an angel and does everything you say, prompting us to wonder why she needed to go to training in the first place. So we have decided to do our best with our own disciplinary skills. The other day Whiskey decided to get some grapes off the counter...and her sister joined her in devouring these doggie delights. Problem is grapes are poisoness for dogs. Luckily Molly came home for lunch and realizing what happened she immediately took them to their favorite destination - the vet. They basically had to have their stomachs pumped and then they were put on IVs for two days. Good times let me tell you! Fortunately they are fine now. When you see them at the wedding, please remember not to feed them any of the Red Grapes coated with Chevre and Pistachio. Thank you.

Sin City and the 5 year old in the blue and red sweater

I got home on Sunday from my Las Vegas bachelorette party aka the best bachelorette party of all time. Ten girls headed out to the desert last weekend for some laughs, pool time, cocktails, and fun nights out. I literally had the time of my life and it made me wonder why we don't do girls' weekends more often! Saturday was spent poolside at a cabana at Mandalay Bay. We ate fabulous food and laid on party beach towels and every detail of the weekend was carefully coordinated by my sister.

On Saturday night, we got dressed and ready to go out (a several hour process and one of my favorite past times). I was cleverly tricked into leaving the room and headed to Chris' sisters' room when they presented me with a blast from the past and
none other than a picture of an innocent 5 year old Chris. When I got back to my room there were decorations, games, and gifts, much of which was planned out by my cousin and other maid of honor. Lil' Chris propped up in the room to oversee all activities of a single lady's last night out. Whether or not the kid in the red and blue sweater would have approved of the events that followed are details best left in Vegas.

Hot Lil' Cobbler

The title of this post has become a running joke between Molly, Maria and I. Here's the deal. I like food, there is no denying it. I like all kinds of food - breakfast foods, pizza, sweets, beer (yes, I can confirm it is a food because I have lived off it for periods of time), and pretty much anything else under the sun. What I also realize is that other people like food too - particularly wedding guests. Of all the food that wedding guests like, I am going to venture a guess and say dessert is their favorite. But you know what? Wedding cakes are not all that great. How often do people eat cake in general (I'm not talking cheesecake). Is cake ANYONE's favorite dessert? Didn't think so. So I decided we are going to have various assorted desserts instead of a wedding cake (sorry to spoil the surprise). Now, what better thing to have in Oregon than something with berries in it. What are berries good in? PIES! But, our caterer doesn't do pies so he came up with the idea of mini cobblers. I think cobblers should be served hot...hot lil' cobblers! OK - maybe this is not all that funny to most of you out there, but I think when Molly and her Mom hear see how passionate I am about hot berry dessert items they find it funny. What's really funny is that Molly makes fun of me for liking "hot fruit" on pancakes and stuff. She mostly prefers her fruit room temp or cold. Perhaps opposite "fruit temparture preferers" attract? All I know is there is going to be some damn good desserts at our wedding...of all different temperatures.

Camping trip recap

We took the dogs for their last 7 hour hike hurrah last weekend preceded by a frantic 4-wheel drive trek down the mountain and back into town for more beer and a sleepless night of camping. In case you didn't know, Addie is a condo dog to the core. So when the cow herd came bulldozing their way through our campsite and when the mosquitoes started biting, she wouldn't have it. She wanted in the car or the tent and wanted in there BAAAAD. Whiskey on the other hand, got really low and barked and nipping at cow feet until every last one of them was out of our camp spot. Unfortunately, the cows settled in across the dirt road and ate grass and mooed their heads off until wee hours of the morning. That didn't bode well for a good night's sleep seeing as Addie could hear those cows and slept with one eye open and would let out a random bark every once in awhile just so they didn't sneak a fast one by her. Thirty three days until Addie and Whiskey's parents are no longer living (or camping) in sin . . . .

On the road again

Chris and I are in the car with the dogs heading up to the mountains for our last camping weekend of the summer. Chris wanted to be on the road by 10, so we got an early start on breakfast and packing (and by we I mean Chris - I slept in). Four weekends from now we'll be in the car heading out west to begin the wedding week extravaganza! More to come tomorrow . . .

Molly, My Bachelorette

As I am writing this blog, I must admit that we are watching a "specal" edition of the bachelorette. While America is saying that Jillian is their favorite bachelorette, I must say Molly is my favorite. Here are five reasons why:
1. Stable - Unlike Jillian, Molly does not cry all that much.
2. Committed - Molly believes that a solid relationship is formed over the course of 6 years, and not 6 weeks.
3. Practical - Molly is very unmaterialistic and she did not need a 60k ring to be happy. (OK - I realize it is not the ring that makes you happy, but if a tv show told Molly she could have a ring or 60k...we know what she would choose).
4. Fun - Molly does not need sailing trips, bungee jumping, and snowshoeing to have fun with me...we could have fun with a rock and a piece of paper. (ok - snowshoeing sometimes helps)
5. Decisive - Molly would have had no doubt that Ed was the one - she wouldn't have wavered for that Reid dude. I am her Ed.

Bottom line - Molly is better than America's favorite Bachelorette. Additionally, I am really glad I didn't have to go through a game show to win her heart.

Got Rythm

Seeing as it’s Friday afternoon (a summer afternoon none the less) I’m sure this little tidbit has made its way to most offices around the country and is responsible for thousands of hours and millions of dollars of lost productivity. With that said, it relates to the topic of weddings so if you haven’t seen it yet while on the clock, check it out now before you read on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0.

Creative? No question. Got rhythm? Well, not the majority of them. Which got me to thinking. I’ve got an entourage of show girls that is my bridal party. No, seriously, I do. First of all, both Megan and Lucy have lived in Vegas, the show girl capital of the world, so that’s gotta count for something. Megan and Sarah were both on dance team, and Sarah continues to dance with a group call AWOL in Portland and they do all sorts of impressive areal moves incorporating ropes suspended from high, high places. Lucy and Caitlin were both cheerleaders, and I’m pretty sure Caitlin can muster up a back flip or two if pressed. And Ashly took dance lessons for her wedding, and from my experience at sorority shindigs, she’s got some moves. But what, you may ask, do the gentlemen have to offer? Well I’m not as sure about them but I do remember hearing a story about a high school talent show involving Kevin and Chris and the song Jump Around by House of Pain. Oh yeah, and Chris does a mean robot.

So I’m not saying we’re going to put together a choreographed routine to get us down the isle. What I am saying though is if we did, it would be bad ass.

Details, details and more details

I have to be honest - when it comes to our wedding, I am all about the big picture. Where, when, who, what we eat, which shade of futia (j/k on that one) and the honeymoon are important to me. Luckily, Molly attends to the smaller details like starting a blog. This is just one of the reasons we make a good team.
In general, I think woman get more into weddings then men. My dad and I have talked about the wedding maybe 5 or 6 times. Molly and her Mom could talk about the wedding 5 or 6 times a day, but unfortunately for them they have other things to do so they only talk 2 or 3 times. Molly and I are heading to Portland this weekend and there will be a lot of wedding talk. At some point, a record might be set for the most times the word "centerpiece" is used in one minute.
But all kidding aside, I really have enjoyed the entire process, including the spirited discussions about band v. dj, and don't want it to be over. I really will miss all of the planning, work (which Molly's parents Greg and Maria have done the majority of) and discussion. When all is said and done Molly and I, with a bunch of our closest friends and family, will have celebrated our recognition that we want to be together for the rest of our lives. We only get to do that once, so I will make sure to enjoy every minute of creating "small seat assignment cards" or whatever the next wedding task might be.

Forty six

If you look hard enough, you can find lots of significance around the number 46. For example, at age 46 Ben Franklin conducted his kite experiments and learned a lot about electricity. There are 46 peaks in the Adirondack mountain range. At age 46 Jack Nicklaus became the oldest man to win golf's Masters. And of course, there are 46 days until our wedding and the day I start the official count down! Ok, today was chosen at random but whatever.

With only 46 days left we've checked some of the most important things off our list and are now just dealing with the little details. I called a guitar and mandolin player today to see if we can book them for the ceremony and reception. How fun would that be? I also put some thought into the cute swimsuits and outfits I need to bring to Vegas for the bachelorette. Yep, that's right. Vegas baby! Chris when rafting and camping with the boys for his bachelor party and had the time of his life. I'm looking so forward to a fun weekend with the girls.

Chris and I are so excited and ready for September 5th to be here, but don't want it to be over with all at the same time. With family and friends all over the country and world, it's going to be a dream come true to have our nearest and dearest all together. Forty six and counting . . . .